What we are is constantly being determined by what we do. But at times, we want to escape the extent of what we are. Sadly, in an age of documented written communication, it is almost impossible to do. I spent the last 2 hours going over random chats from the last two years, most of which did not make me feel good about myself and others. Only yesterday, I was telling someone that one must never delete what one has written. Going back to our write-ups is like reading reading history. It was a reflection of what we were. It may not be the whole story, leaving you to inquire into the past looking for context into what we wrote.
Yet, this business of written communication is scary. There could be a part of my history that I wouldn't want to be reminded of, some dark chapter that I am yet to make peace with it whose memory could have explosive manifestations. I wonder if it is then time to erase some of my history
3 comments:
I think not, erasing a memory is like erasing yourself. hurt is just as important as joy. one can't go further without either of them.
I disagree. Although I do, in practice, abide by not deleting any mails/conversations etc., I do think it's an important option we must exercise sometimes. Also, for someone with as short a memory span as me, deleting these conversations almost means those things never happened :D
I know what you're talking about. I do re-read chats sometimes and feel rather shady and I also threw away my 9th standard, 14 yr old journal. But rather than feeling too bad, I'm often glad to see that I've moved on from such phases and left that old self behind largely. In fact, I think its important to remind yourself every now and then, so that you can acknowledge how you were and how you've evolved. Just a thought!
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