Roy replaces Shoaib

When I heard reports of Andrew Symonds involved in yet another drinking misdemeanor, I had to check the date of the report. So frequently has Symonds courted controversy that it has become tough to keep track. With Shoaib Akhtar out of the team for good(so it seems), it's time to crown Roy the undisputed king of controversial cricketers.

Cactus

Raat eka-ek neend tooti to kya dekhta hoon
Gagan se jaise utar kar ek tara cactus ki jhadiyon mein aa gira hai
Raat eka-ek neend tooti to kya dekhta hoon gagan se jaise utar kar ek tara cactus ki jhadiyon mein aa gira hai
Nikat jaa kar dekhta hoon ek adbhut phool kaanton mein khila hai
Hai cactus, divas mein tum khile hote,
rashmiyan kitni nichhaavar ho gayeen hoti tumhari pankhudiyon par
pavan apni god mein tumko jhula kar dhanya hota
gandh dheemi baantta phirta dhruvon mein
bhringya aate gherte tumko
anavrat bherte mala suyash ki, gun tumhara gungunate

dhairya se sun baat meri, cactus ne kahaa dheeme se
kisi vivashta se khilta hoon, khulne ki saadh to nahi hai
jag mein anjaana reh jaana koi apradh to nahi hai

- Harivanshrai Bachchan

You'd think it would be character
but you would think it wrong
All my men were characters
and most of them are gone

You'd think you should be similar
but no that's not it
the similar ones had my same faults
and we bored ourselves a bit.

You'd think it should be passion
but that's just ebb and flow
love can spark that back again
and then the fireworks show

You'd think it should be purpose
and I thought that for a while
for what then am I loving,
a man or his profile?

You'd think it would be trust
but everyone betrays
the one they love
in just too many ways.

You'd think it should be sacred
and then I think again
you have to forgive each other
and start it new again.

You'd think it could be intelligence
I like men who are smart
but it's courage and compassion
all the parts of heart

You'd think it would be happiness
and you might be close to right
but I need my space and darkness too
and that can start a fight.

You'd think it might be talking
and I think that might be close
but how he fills the silence
cause I just hate verbose.

You'd think he should be a hero
but I don't need much saving
I've saved myself for some long time
I'd rather watch him shaving.

You'd think it should be simple
to know that dueling men
argue from their own conceits
and love themselves again.

You'd think it would be hard to find
because no love had I found
till I saw him standing there
when I finally turned around.

You'd think it should be peaceful
but we started out with fighting-
and then he wrote his poems just for me.
And I don't need sky writing.

You'd think it might be many things
but I think that it's this
That I just make him happy
and that we just persist.

What we are is constantly being determined by what we do. But at times, we want to escape the extent of what we are. Sadly, in an age of documented written communication, it is almost impossible to do. I spent the last 2 hours going over random chats from the last two years, most of which did not make me feel good about myself and others. Only yesterday, I was telling someone that one must never delete what one has written. Going back to our write-ups is like reading reading history. It was a reflection of what we were. It may not be the whole story, leaving you to inquire into the past looking for context into what we wrote.

Yet, this business of written communication is scary. There could be a part of my history that I wouldn't want to be reminded of, some dark chapter that I am yet to make peace with it whose memory could have explosive manifestations. I wonder if it is then time to erase some of my history