The Fall

I have always thought Pride and Prejudice was one of Austen's inferior works. But the scene where Darcy confesses his love to Lizzy and she turns him down flat is genius. It's not your conventional proposal, there is some amount of pacing up and down, every compliment he pays her sounds underhanded. What works in this scene is its abruptness and its general incongruity. Darcy is not himself, the quick witted Elizabeth is left speechless. ( I love her graph as well in this scene where she moves from curious to surprised to indignant to shellshocked to overwhelmed but that's digressing) Why the scene is sheer genius is because it shows at one level that all raw emotion is intensely personal, often disregarding even the object of the emotion. Darcy is so hung up on his internal struggle to accept his love, he can't be bothered to give any thought to the fact that he will end up insulting Elizabeth through his confession. In a strange way, I find that poetic.

The process of falling for someone is a fascinating one. For some people, it's their default setting, they're constantly falling for someone or the other, yet there are others who have experienced it only vicariously. For someone generally tightly wound up, I have a tendency to fall headfirst. I somehow find the process, cathartic and excruciating, and in restrospect, therapeutic. To accept the fact of the fall is to open yourself up to complete misery. Why we do it? Aside from the fact that we all get high on drama, it's pretty cool when it's all just a little bit worth it.