"There is nothing more important to a man than his family."
-Vito Corleone
I am very fond of an occasional drink. I have grown to enjoy the taste of most kinds of alcohol, I love trying out new drinks and I love the feeling of a slight high when you have just had the right amount of alcohol that is so conducive to brilliant conversations without you really toppling over or losing control. Yet, sometimes I get smashed, maybe puke and lose control over myself and worst of all, someone has to take care of me. Sometimes, one gets silly and it is fun for people around you until they have o take care of you and it is certainly no fun for yourself. Every time one of these bouts of uncontrolled drinking occur, I get very bothered. No one likes not to be in control (I especially abhor it), I don't like being silly and I hate the idea of someone having to take care of me. Most of all, I feel very embarrassed at being a nuisance. For some strange reason, off late, these experiences are accompanied by me imagining my father's disapproving gaze.
For someone not really close to his family, I love to talk (and think) about mine. I often wonder about how my father would judge all my actions, what remark my siblings would have to make. It's actually funny because all my life, I have been something of a rebel. I have always tried to chart my own path, bristled under the weight of any filial expectations, however little of it there might have been, notions of family unity suffocate me, in fact sometimes just being around my own people for too long makes me uncomfortable. Yet, I could bore you with intricate details of my childhood and family. Hell, some day I even want to chronicle my family history in a book! The truth is that however further I move, images of where I came from remain around me. I have started resembling my father, my voice and the way I speak or get angry is a lot like my brother, my story-telling abilities are a throwback to my uncle, I am gradually becoming a person a lot like my sister and I am beginning to believe, I search for my mother's sense of equanimity in the women in my life.
There is a line in Before Sunrise where Ethan Hawke says, "Everybody's parents fuck them up. You know, rich kids' parents gave them too much, poor kids' not enough. Too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them, or you know, they stuck around and taught them the wrong things."
This is very true and I don't really mean in a bad way, necessarily. We are what we were brought up with, what our parents and siblings are, inane childhood incidents which left a stamp on us. We are in some ways defined by our neurosis, and mostly, it all goes back to the four letter word called home.
November 24, 2009
October 29, 2009
Top 3 Underworld Movies
1. Goodfellas
The fact that it has topped Godfather alone tells you how good it is. Possibly my favorite Martin Scorsese(can't be certain between this and The King of Comedy), this movie is a fast-paced, almost comical portrayal of the world within which develops almost like a docu-drama. Great ensemble cast, freeze frames and long tracking shots and above all, an excellent narrative.
2. The Godfather
Given my obsession for this movie, I am not putting at No.1 with something of a heavy heart. The Godfather is one of the most thrilling cinematic experiences of all time. Perfectly chosen cast, brilliant screenplay taking out the best and the most pivotal parts of an extraordinary novel, excellent soundtrack and the period decor feel of the 1940s are what stand out.
3. Company
Everything about this movie works for me be it the tight screenplay, excellent narrative with some memorable voice overs and dialogues, inspired performances, one of the better soundtracks in an Indian movie and the way it is shot.
The fact that it has topped Godfather alone tells you how good it is. Possibly my favorite Martin Scorsese(can't be certain between this and The King of Comedy), this movie is a fast-paced, almost comical portrayal of the world within which develops almost like a docu-drama. Great ensemble cast, freeze frames and long tracking shots and above all, an excellent narrative.
2. The Godfather
Given my obsession for this movie, I am not putting at No.1 with something of a heavy heart. The Godfather is one of the most thrilling cinematic experiences of all time. Perfectly chosen cast, brilliant screenplay taking out the best and the most pivotal parts of an extraordinary novel, excellent soundtrack and the period decor feel of the 1940s are what stand out.
3. Company
Everything about this movie works for me be it the tight screenplay, excellent narrative with some memorable voice overs and dialogues, inspired performances, one of the better soundtracks in an Indian movie and the way it is shot.
August 07, 2009
Here Today
And if I say, I really knew you well
What would your answer be?
If you were here today
Well, knowing you
You'd probably laugh and say
That we were worlds apart
If you were here today
But as for me, I still
Remember how it was before
And I'm holding back the tears no more
What about the time we met
Well, I suppose that you could say
We were playing hard to get
Didn't understand a thing
But we could always sing
What about the night we cried
Because there wasn't any reason
Left to keep it all inside
Never understood a word
But you were always there with a smile
And if I say, I really loved you
And was glad you came along
What would your answer be?
If you were here today
Well, knowing you
You'd probably laugh and say
That we were worlds apart
If you were here today
But as for me, I still
Remember how it was before
And I'm holding back the tears no more
What about the time we met
Well, I suppose that you could say
We were playing hard to get
Didn't understand a thing
But we could always sing
What about the night we cried
Because there wasn't any reason
Left to keep it all inside
Never understood a word
But you were always there with a smile
And if I say, I really loved you
And was glad you came along
July 10, 2009
Goodnight
Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an Emerald Bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an Emerald Bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
May 21, 2009
Does the Gentlemen’s Game mean the Batsmen’s game?
An opinion gaining momentum in the recent past is that the game of cricket is increasingly becoming more and more favorable to the batsmen. Flat, batsmen friendly pitches, smaller grounds, more and more protective gear for the batsmen, the powerplays, and some may argue, a fall in the standard of bowling since the 70s, though this is debatable, have all made cricket a batsman’s game. Yet, if we give it some thought, we will realize that the bias towards the batsmen is not a recent phenomenon but a traditional reality steeped in the very ethos of the game.
No other sport, to my knowledge at least has a moral dimension as pronounced as cricket. Most other sports are usually tightly bound by rules, leaving very little space for ethical dilemmas to creep in wherein the sportspersons have to exercise their own moral discretion. The standard for these sports is usually that whatever is not prohibited is mandatory. It is only in the game of cricket that there is a grey area not bound by rules, yet viewed with a certain degree of moral censure. If we examine these grey areas, we will realize that the moral attitudes are strongly biased in the favor of the batsman.
Whether to walk or not is probably the most oft-faced dilemmas faced by cricketers. It has been at the centre of considerable debate lately after Adam Gilchrist decided to walk in an important World Cup match and exhorted others to do the same. The basis of his argument is if the batsman knows that he is out, he is morally obliged to walk. Sunil Gavaskar, in his book, Runs and Ruins, spoke of an incident while playing in Pakistan when he was out first ball and not given out. He did not walk because he had been given out so many times in Pakistan when he was not, he felt they owed him a few. This is the other side of the argument espoused by most players including, Sourav Ganguly and Ricky Ponting. A parallel to the same would be to appeal for a dismissal while knowing that the batsman is not out. However, strangely the same moral standard is not applied to the two. It has even been codified and was included in the preamble of the Spirit of the Game. Section 5 states that appealing, while knowing that a batsman is not out is contrary to the spirit of the game. In one instance, it has even led to a wicketkeeper being suspended for three matches.
The traditional bias against bowlers has been so strong that that when the googly was invented by Bernard Bosanquet, there were many who felt it was unethical for the bowler to thus, deceive the bastman! Now, such a suggestion would seem ridiculous but it does throw some light on the inherent bias in the game. The reason behind this strange discrimination perhaps lies in the old class division between batsmen and bowlers wherein batsman were the real gentlemen, while bowlers, merely players. It is most apparent in the moral censure attached to Mankading. The batsman clearly gains an unfair advantage by backing up too much and leaving the crease, whether intentionally or otherwise and if an unfair advantage is accrued, there must be a sanction, too. The problem with this form of dismissal was perhaps that the bowler questions the motives of the batsman in backing up too far and such an accusation by a player against a gentlemam doesn’t bode well.
No other sport, to my knowledge at least has a moral dimension as pronounced as cricket. Most other sports are usually tightly bound by rules, leaving very little space for ethical dilemmas to creep in wherein the sportspersons have to exercise their own moral discretion. The standard for these sports is usually that whatever is not prohibited is mandatory. It is only in the game of cricket that there is a grey area not bound by rules, yet viewed with a certain degree of moral censure. If we examine these grey areas, we will realize that the moral attitudes are strongly biased in the favor of the batsman.
Whether to walk or not is probably the most oft-faced dilemmas faced by cricketers. It has been at the centre of considerable debate lately after Adam Gilchrist decided to walk in an important World Cup match and exhorted others to do the same. The basis of his argument is if the batsman knows that he is out, he is morally obliged to walk. Sunil Gavaskar, in his book, Runs and Ruins, spoke of an incident while playing in Pakistan when he was out first ball and not given out. He did not walk because he had been given out so many times in Pakistan when he was not, he felt they owed him a few. This is the other side of the argument espoused by most players including, Sourav Ganguly and Ricky Ponting. A parallel to the same would be to appeal for a dismissal while knowing that the batsman is not out. However, strangely the same moral standard is not applied to the two. It has even been codified and was included in the preamble of the Spirit of the Game. Section 5 states that appealing, while knowing that a batsman is not out is contrary to the spirit of the game. In one instance, it has even led to a wicketkeeper being suspended for three matches.
The traditional bias against bowlers has been so strong that that when the googly was invented by Bernard Bosanquet, there were many who felt it was unethical for the bowler to thus, deceive the bastman! Now, such a suggestion would seem ridiculous but it does throw some light on the inherent bias in the game. The reason behind this strange discrimination perhaps lies in the old class division between batsmen and bowlers wherein batsman were the real gentlemen, while bowlers, merely players. It is most apparent in the moral censure attached to Mankading. The batsman clearly gains an unfair advantage by backing up too much and leaving the crease, whether intentionally or otherwise and if an unfair advantage is accrued, there must be a sanction, too. The problem with this form of dismissal was perhaps that the bowler questions the motives of the batsman in backing up too far and such an accusation by a player against a gentlemam doesn’t bode well.
A Suitable Boy: 19th Century literuture?
I read A Suitable Boy again recently. On my old blog, I had lamented the fact that I had never written anything on a book I so loved and discussed with like minded friends in such excruciating detail. Back in my first year in college, when we attempted to start the ill-fated book club, we never assigned a session to this epic of a book as we thought it had been discussed to death. However, this novel, so broad and magnificent in its scope, always throws up new things every time I read it. While I could go on and on about the characters of this book, in this post, I shall concentrate on Seth’s style of writing.
Written towards the end of the twentieth century, about a period in the middle of century of the century, this novel is very much in the tradition of nineteenth century European realist writing. This is in stark contrast of trend of magic realism pioneered amongst Indian writers by Rushdie and later espoused by the likes of Amitav Ghosh and Vikram Chandra.
Seth offers a hybrid blend of the fictional yet typical with actual historical characters and events. The main characters are imagined, but the fictional politicians Mahesh Kapoor and S.S. Sharma read a letter from the eminently real Jawaharlal Nehru – which indeed, as Seth informs the reader in his prefatory notes, reproduces, word for word, parts of a letter actually sent by Nehru. Nehru later makes an interesting cameo appearance in the novel. There is a lot of Scott in Seth’s book in his style of creating fictional characters within a historical background alongside real life figures. The fictitious city of Brahmpur in the fictitious state of Purva Pradesh is also an interesting blend of fact and fiction. It is not an imaginary city in a nowhere land but clearly in the Hindi heartland in North India with touches of Agra, Benaras and Ayodhya. This is similar to an Eliot’s Middlemarch which incidentally has been referenced by Amit Chatterjee, the character Seth modeled on himself.
Written towards the end of the twentieth century, about a period in the middle of century of the century, this novel is very much in the tradition of nineteenth century European realist writing. This is in stark contrast of trend of magic realism pioneered amongst Indian writers by Rushdie and later espoused by the likes of Amitav Ghosh and Vikram Chandra.
Seth offers a hybrid blend of the fictional yet typical with actual historical characters and events. The main characters are imagined, but the fictional politicians Mahesh Kapoor and S.S. Sharma read a letter from the eminently real Jawaharlal Nehru – which indeed, as Seth informs the reader in his prefatory notes, reproduces, word for word, parts of a letter actually sent by Nehru. Nehru later makes an interesting cameo appearance in the novel. There is a lot of Scott in Seth’s book in his style of creating fictional characters within a historical background alongside real life figures. The fictitious city of Brahmpur in the fictitious state of Purva Pradesh is also an interesting blend of fact and fiction. It is not an imaginary city in a nowhere land but clearly in the Hindi heartland in North India with touches of Agra, Benaras and Ayodhya. This is similar to an Eliot’s Middlemarch which incidentally has been referenced by Amit Chatterjee, the character Seth modeled on himself.
Song
Sweetest love, I do not go,
For weariness of thee,
Nor in hope the world can show
A fitter love for me ;
But since that I
At the last must part, 'tis best,
Thus to use myself in jest
By feigned deaths to die.
Yesternight the sun went hence,
And yet is here to-day ;
He hath no desire nor sense,
Nor half so short a way ;
Then fear not me,
But believe that I shall make
Speedier journeys, since I take
More wings and spurs than he.
O how feeble is man's power,
That if good fortune fall,
Cannot add another hour,
Nor a lost hour recall ;
But come bad chance,
And we join to it our strength,
And we teach it art and length,
Itself o'er us to advance.
When thou sigh'st, thou sigh'st not wind,
But sigh'st my soul away ;
When thou weep'st, unkindly kind,
My life's blood doth decay.
It cannot be
That thou lovest me as thou say'st,
If in thine my life thou waste,
That art the best of me.
Let not thy divining heart
Forethink me any ill ;
Destiny may take thy part,
And may thy fears fulfil.
But think that we
Are but turn'd aside to sleep.
They who one another keep
Alive, ne'er parted be.
- John Donne
I don't think I have ever come across any piece of poetry which I like better than this.
For weariness of thee,
Nor in hope the world can show
A fitter love for me ;
But since that I
At the last must part, 'tis best,
Thus to use myself in jest
By feigned deaths to die.
Yesternight the sun went hence,
And yet is here to-day ;
He hath no desire nor sense,
Nor half so short a way ;
Then fear not me,
But believe that I shall make
Speedier journeys, since I take
More wings and spurs than he.
O how feeble is man's power,
That if good fortune fall,
Cannot add another hour,
Nor a lost hour recall ;
But come bad chance,
And we join to it our strength,
And we teach it art and length,
Itself o'er us to advance.
When thou sigh'st, thou sigh'st not wind,
But sigh'st my soul away ;
When thou weep'st, unkindly kind,
My life's blood doth decay.
It cannot be
That thou lovest me as thou say'st,
If in thine my life thou waste,
That art the best of me.
Let not thy divining heart
Forethink me any ill ;
Destiny may take thy part,
And may thy fears fulfil.
But think that we
Are but turn'd aside to sleep.
They who one another keep
Alive, ne'er parted be.
- John Donne
I don't think I have ever come across any piece of poetry which I like better than this.
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